Unfortunately, the world isn’t full of completely selfless people, so it always helps to know what to look for if you want to avoid those who constantly prioritize their own needs. To assist you, here are 19 traits to spot in self-centered people who always prioritize their own needs.
They’ll Dominate Conversations
If a person always puts themselves first, they always want their voice to be the loudest in conversations. They’ll want to make sure the focus is on them and will likely try to steer the conversation back to themselves by interrupting. It’s super frustrating.
They’ll Have a Sense of Entitlement
Verywell Mind reveals that a sense of entitlement is based on a belief that you deserve special treatment or recognition. Those who always put themselves first will commonly believe that others should put them first, too. They often feel like rules don’t apply to them, but of course they do!
Lack of Empathy
Because they are their own priority, it’s also common for self-centered people to have a very low level of empathy. Empathy means considering other people’s feelings. Not only will they dismiss the perspectives of others, but they’ll also find it very difficult to understand where the other individual is coming from.
Selfish Decision Making
It’s likely no surprise that every decision a selfish person makes is going to be focused on their own needs, making it likely that any choice will be for their own benefit instead of others. They’ll often take it one step further by ignoring how a decision could negatively impact someone else.”
Their Behavior is Manipulative
Another trait of people who prioritize themselves is manipulative behavior, a tool they use to get what they want. They’ll often use or exploit other people to gain an advantage, or they can even emotionally manipulate by playing the victim. It’s pretty messed up.
Lack of Accountability
Selfish people rarely take responsibility for their actions; therefore, they always seek to blame others for their own failures. Because they put themselves first, they don’t want to admit that they make mistakes because that can make them appear less successful. How insincere is that!?
They Have a Constant Need for Validation
Psych Central outlines that internal validation is acknowledging your positive attributes to yourself, while external validation is acknowledgment from others regarding your strengths. Selfish people will always require the latter, relying on praise to feel good about themselves, which often leads to boasting.
A Competitive Nature
It’s also likely that someone who puts themselves first will be highly competitive, as they’ll always view other people as rivals rather than individuals to care about. Their own self-worth can often come from whether they “win” against other people, which is pretty childish.
Finding it Difficult to Form Deep Connections
A history of short-term friendships or romantic relationships is also likely with people who put themselves first, as they’re never going to be able to form lasting, deep connections if they’re their own number one priority. Superficial relationships which serve their needs are far more to their taste.
They’ll Show Reluctance About Helping Others
You might also notice that self-absorbed people rarely offer to help or volunteer for important causes, as they think their time is wasted if it’s not focused on their own needs. If they’re directly asked to help, they’ll inevitably make an excuse to wriggle out of it.
Inflexibility
Selfish people are never going to compromise or adjust their routines to suit others; why would they when they insist on having things their way? Not only will they show very little wiggle room, but they’ll also likely react negatively to any sort of disruptive change.
Other People Are Mere Stepping Stones to Them
When you think so highly of yourself, you’re never going to see other people as anything other than tools to get what you want, which is why using people and frequently discarding them is another trait. Any relationship has to be seen as worthy to get ahead, which is awfully inhumane.
They’ll Reveal Narcissistic Tendencies
Britannica reveals that narcissists often have an inflated self-image and high self-esteem, and people who put themselves first often do so because they believe they’re the most important person in the room. Narcissistic tendencies can also manifest as a lack of interest in the lives of others; how boring is that!?
Poor Listening Skills
You can never hope to have a focused conversation with a selfish person because zoning out is their go-to. They aren’t interested enough in what you’re saying if it doesn’t pertain to them, and even then, they will seek to speak instead of listen.
Fits of Jealousy or Envy
Despite the fact that those who put themselves first often have high self-esteem, they can also become very easily threatened, which means jealousy is commonplace. They won’t like it if other people are more successful than them, so they’ll seek to put others down.
They’re Emotionally Immature
Because they lack compassion and patience for other people, it’s no surprise that they also show signs of emotional immaturity. They’ll likely struggle to regulate their own emotions, react irrationally to certain situations, or even sulk if they don’t get their way. Boo hoo!
Taking Others for Granted
It’s very rare to get a “thank you” from someone who puts themselves first because they believe the support of other people is a given. They’ll likely take advantage of other people’s kindness, rarely express any sort of appreciation, and also focus on what they don’t have rather than what they do.
They’ll Never Respect Boundaries
Why would someone who believes they’re better than others and entitled to whatever they want ever respect a boundary? This can be a common trait because they’re always willing to impose on others if it’s regarding something they themselves need or want.
Unrealistic Expectations
A final trait to watch out for in a self-absorbed person is setting unrealistic expectations for themselves and others. Failing to meet an expectation can set you up for frustrations, explains Healthline, which is why unrealistic expectations can be problematic. That won’t stop selfish people from seeking perfection, though.
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