17 Things You’re Officially Allowed to Do When You Get Old

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By Jonathan Trent

While youth is itself a luxury, there are many things that you prevent yourself from saying or doing as it goes against societal norms. Once you have aged and developed a knack for not caring what other people think, you will finally be able to do these 17 things.

Daytime Naps

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You can no longer be accused of laziness after taking a brief hour-and-a-half nap in the middle of the day. You’re older now; you need every scrap of rest that you can get! John Hopkins Medicine backs this sentiment up, suggesting that 30-90 minute naps offer cognitive benefits to older people.

Rambling About the Good Old Days

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Older people tend to have a more lenient license for storytelling, allowing them to go on marauding monologues about the good ol’ days. Whether your story has a solid beginning, middle, and end structure or you go off on various tangents, people will be obliged to listen.

Saying What You Think

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The average person will keep the majority of their burning thoughts within the confines of their own heads throughout their life so as not to offend anybody. However, once you reach maturity, this fear of offending wanes significantly, opening the door to air your grievances in public.

Devote Time to Hobbies

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With your career ending after retirement, you’ll now have far more time on your hands, which can be pretty daunting for some people. As Forbes advises, having hobbies is universally beneficial for mental health as you head into older age, so why not use your newfound freedom wisely?

Complain About the Weather

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Complaining about the weather is like telling someone about a dream you had last night; you know that they don’t care, but you can’t help but make a comment. Weather talk is the peak of pointless conversation, but you’re older now, and you’ve likely exhausted all other topics, so go for it.

Shrink Your Friendship Circle

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There’s no point in carrying around surplus relationships once you reach your golden years, as maintaining friendships with people you’re not overly fond of is exhausting. With age comes the realization that having a small group of really close friends far outweighs having a large group of okay friends.

Becoming Useless With Technology

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Despite being able to sew up old clothes, build cabinets from scratch, and read two books a day, old people are continuously stumped by technology. The incredible levels of incompetence with mobile devices demonstrated by older people almost seem like a baby boomer inside joke that younger people aren’t in on, but that’s OK.

Make Use of Early Bird Deals

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If you don’t mind having your evening meal at four o’clock in the afternoon, you’ll find that you can save a lot of money by being old. Early bird deals and pensioner specials are available all across the country, giving you access to good food for a great price.

Blame Being Old

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One major joy of being old is that you can use your age as an excuse for making errors. Forgetting to buy someone a birthday card can be excused under the umbrella term, ‘senior moment.’ After all, the National Institute on Aging confirms that forgetfulness is a common symptom of aging, so milk it!


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The liberating, carefree side of being a human can be fully expressed the older you get, as you care less about the consequences. What’s the worst that will happen if you turn the music up to full blast, ask people cheeky questions, or otherwise misbehave as an OAP?!

Dressing Eccentrically

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Now that you have a good number of years under your belt, you have likely stopped caring about what others think of you. You can now leave the house looking like prime Elton John, and nobody can do or say anything to stop you. Now, that is freedom.

Be Assertive

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You might be older, but that’s no need to be a pushover. There is a level of authority that only people of a certain age possess, allowing them to get exactly what they want without letting anybody walk all over them as they may have done in their youth.

Get People to Carry Heavy Things for You

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Once you get older, you develop a queue of people waiting to carry heavy items for you. Not only does it make them feel better as humans, but it is also far nicer for your joints when you wake up the next morning.

Stay at Home

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If you can no longer hack the hustle and bustle of evening life, you are perfectly entitled to stay at home in front of the television and exist within your little bubble. While you once wouldn’t have dreamed of staying in every night, it now feels like the only thing you want to do.

Disappear for a While

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When you’re older and finally retired, there are no schedules, bosses, or responsibilities to prevent you from getting out of the country and traveling for a while. According to a study by the Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies, 59% of Americans dream of traveling in their retirement, so why not consider doing the same?

Throw Out Your High Heels

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High heels were likely once a staple of your work and nightlife outfits, causing immense pain to your feet and calves. Thankfully, nobody expects an older person to be strutting around in high heels, so you can finally say goodbye to them once and for all.

Give Advice

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Finally, even if deep down you don’t have a clue what you are talking about, being old instantly gives others the impression that you’re wise, and whatever you say should be taken as gospel. You’ll likely find yourself getting into the role of advice-giver, and you’ll have to remind yourself that you aren’t the reincarnation of Aristotle.