18 Reasons Older Men Prefer to Be Alone

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By Jonathan Trent

In our generation, there is, quite rightly, less stigma surrounding older men who opt for a more solitary lifestyle rather than locking themselves into a romantic relationship just because society says they should. Here are 18 reasons why older men prefer to live a single lifestyle.

Satisfaction With Oneself

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Some men feel satisfied with their situation and perfectly comfortable spending time alone without the need for companionship. For many, making their own plans and following their own schedules is a more liberating way to live. There’s nothing wrong with that!

Worried About Being Too Old

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Another core reason why older men stay alone is because they don’t think anyone will be attracted to them because of their age. Pew Research Center backs this up, stating that 30% of non-daters over the age of 65 said the main reason they aren’t looking to date is that they feel too old.

Other Interests Getting in the Way

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Some men are too invested in their own interests and hobbies to entertain the idea of starting a new relationship, which is actually pretty admirable! Finding a partner not only takes time, but it also restricts the number of hours that they can spend on what they enjoy doing once the relationship settles down.

Difficult Past Relationships

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The trauma and stress of past relationships can weigh people down, causing them to drop the idea of finding another partner in favor of staying single. They may feel as though they no longer want to risk the pain that they felt after their last breakup, which is sad but understandable.

Habitually Single

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Sometimes, there is no other reason for an older man to be single other than the fact they are habitually partnerless. Not all men have a desire to live with or be romantically involved with anyone else. The idea of blending their lifestyle with someone else’s is just not appealing!

Protection of Finances

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A lot of men who have been single for a while and have built up a good amount of savings may not want anyone to potentially jeopardize what they have. Starting a relationship can alter someone’s financial status, with inheritance and general costs two of the main factors to consider. Honestly, that’s smart.

Not Wanting to Open Up

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Starting a new relationship involves opening up to another person, who is likely to be a stranger at the start, which some men may not feel comfortable with. As The Washington Post points out, neglecting to examine and tend to emotional needs is common for many men, so this situation is surprisingly common.


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Many older men require independence; they have established their lifestyle and how they wish to spend their days and don’t want to feel as though someone else has autonomy over their life, schedule, or housing situation. They’ve worked hard to craft this independence, so why would they want to jeopardize it now?

Wanting a Simple Life

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There’s no doubt that a new romantic relationship will put a spanner in the works when it comes to your life, for better or for worse. Some men just won’t fancy the idea of potentially complicating their lives by introducing a new person into it, which is understandable.

Health Reasons

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As you age, you are more likely to have health issues, some of which take considerable time and energy to manage. Juggling this with managing a new relationship will just be too much for some, and they may not wish any prospective partners to carry their burden.

Not Wanting to Move On

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While a National Library of Medicine study has found that 61% of men find a new partner 25 months after their spouse’s death, many men won’t wish to engage in a relationship with anyone else. This could be out of prolonged grief or the thought that nobody will fill the void.

Wanting Peace and Quiet

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If a man has lived in a noisy household for most of his life, with children running around and shouting, they may feel the need to get some long-awaited peace and quiet. It’s hard to deny anyone that privilege, and relationships are always going to be louder than being alone.

No Longer Knowing How to Date

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The dating game is continuously evolving, with previous norms often being pushed out in favor of new trends. If a man hasn’t had to date for a number of years, the thought of having to learn how to do it again, especially online, may appear too daunting.

Happy With Friends

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Some older men are so happy when in the company of their closest friends that they won’t feel as though they need a romantic partner. These relationships with friends have been built over a long time and will feel deeper than any romantic partnership could. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Inability to Meet New People Online

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Technology is tough for many older people, as it isn’t a second language like it is for younger people. While online dating is certainly a great way for people to meet others, it may feel inaccessible for those in the older generations, putting them off entirely.

Lack of Energy

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The ever-rolling years do tend to take their toll on a man, with energy levels not the same as they were when they were in their youth. It takes a lot of energy to get yourself on the dating scene, which is why many men are turned off from the idea.

Prioritizing Family

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It’s not uncommon for a man to prioritize his family over a potential relationship, especially as he gets older. A YouGov poll found that 58% of Americans think that familial relationships are the most important relationships, making them a top priority. That’s admirable, honestly.

Leaving a Legacy

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Last but not least, many men will prioritize the legacy they want to leave behind as they head into older age, meaning they won’t have the time or interest in dating. They may want to pursue charitable pursuits or work on themselves as individuals. Entering a new relationship will only add more confusing moving pieces!