It’s never easy if you begin suspecting that someone you’re dating is lacking interest in you. Taking the relevant steps means that you can more easily deal with a difficult situation and find closure. Here are the 17 measures you should take when someone stops showing interest in you.
Notice Changes in Communication
The first important step is to assess the situation. Dwindling interest is most often shown through less and less communication. You should look for whether communication has not only decreased but is now also lacking effort and quality on their part. Women’s Health refers to this as the “slow fade”.
Suggest Making Plans
If they’re not showing initiative to make plans with you anymore, a good way to test the water is to suggest plans yourself. You can then take note of their attempts to avoid meetups, or maybe even cancel plans last minute. This can be a sign of their diminishing efforts to spend time with you.
Determine if They Still Meet Your Emotional Needs
Do you feel comfortable expressing how you feel to them? If not, it might be a sign that your emotional needs aren’t being met, according to Verywell Mind. Based on how they’ve been acting, you should decide whether this lack of interest is ever going to improve.
Assess the Situation
There might be external factors at play as to why the person is now lacking interest. This could be issues going on in their own life that they aren’t telling you about. Perhaps they want to continue seeing you, but something else is pushing them away.
Initiate a Conversation About What’s Happening
If you’ve assessed the situation and your instincts tell you there’s a lack of interest, a frank conversation will help to bring it out in the open. You need to express your concerns so that they realize what the situation seems like from your point of view.
Tell Them Your Expectations
You should have an honest conversation about what your dating or relationship expectations are. If you express that you’re looking for someone who communicates more often, or shows more obvious interest, then they can decide whether they’re compatible with that or not.
Try to Understand Their Point of View
You should take the time to listen to them and their point of view. Try to understand where they’re coming from, no matter what they explain. Perhaps they will give a valid reason as to why communication suddenly dropped off, or maybe you decide their reasons aren’t good enough.
Consider Differing Levels of Commitment
If you’re early in the dating journey, it might be that you have differing levels of commitment – which could mean they’re not necessarily in the wrong. If you’re expecting a huge amount of interest very early on, but they have a different idea about commitment, this could be where the confusion lies.
Focus on Self-Care
Having someone show no interest in you can be hurtful, which is why self-care is important. Take a step away from the situation to engage in activities that you enjoy. This can help to distract you, as well as refreshing your mind. It allows for an alternative perspective on the situation, too.
Seek Support from Family and Friends
An outsider’s opinion is always helpful when it comes to dating. If you’re still uncertain about their lack of interest, you could ask a friend or family member what they think. They can offer an alternative perspective and make you reconsider the situation – for better or for worse.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries applies to both this current situation and future ones. If the person is stringing you along and showing a lack of interest, setting boundaries will help to take control of the situation. According to Forbes, boundaries are key to healthy relationships.
Begin Dating Other People
If you haven’t expressed exclusivity with this person, then you’re free to date other people. If they aren’t willing to meet up with you or communicate regularly, see what else is out there. You may find that someone else fulfills your needs.
Try New Hobbies to Meet New People
Trying new hobbies to meet new people can really help on more than one level. It allows you to take care of yourself by trying something new, and it also enables you to meet new people who show an interest. If you both have a shared hobby, too, it’s an excellent foundation.
Stay Open-Minded
Experiences with people who show no interest in you can really take a toll on your self-esteem. This might result in you thinking t
it will never get better, or perhaps you’re not interesting enough. This isn’t the case. Stay open-minded about future possibilities.
Know When It’s Time to Accept the Situation
If all efforts of communication or resolution have failed, you should accept the situation for what it is and move on. Accept that the person really isn’t interested in you. Gregg Vanourek via LinkedIn states the benefits of acceptance include increasing your own happiness and wellbeing.
Seek Closure with Them
The best way to seek closure is to go all-in with expressing your feelings. Be completely honest with the person and express how your emotional needs haven’t been met, and their lack of interest has ultimately come to a head. Decide on how you want to cut off contact.
Focus on Moving Forward and Personal Growth
After you’ve found your closure, the best thing you can do is move forward with a sense of purpose. You should focus on how you can grow from this situation and how you can find happiness again despite the difficulties you’ve had.