Turning 50 is a strange time for most men as they navigate back injuries, graying hair, and the ever-present desire to buy a boat that they don’t even know how to sail. Here are 17 habits that men pick up after hitting their 50th birthdays.
Waking Up Incredibly Early
As soon as the clock strikes midnight on the morning of a man’s 50th birthday, they will see it as the end of their lie-in phase. They’ll start waking up no later than 05:00, undertaking household chores such as vacuuming and mowing the lawn, waking up the entire neighborhood in the process.
Trying New Hobbies
In a fit of panic about not having lived their life to the full, 50-year-old men will get the urge to take up new, more extreme hobbies such as skiing, canoeing, or mountaineering. A report by The Independent suggests that 62% of adults over 50 are more keen to embrace new hobbies than earlier in their life.
Taking Up Cooking
During a lazy Saturday afternoon watching endless episodes of TV cooking shows, the average 50-year-old man will decide that he’s fed up with his under-seasoned, bland diet and start his culinary adventure. For a week-long spell, his family will be treated to some of the best dishes Asia, Africa, and Europe have to offer.
Traveling to Far-Flung Places
In addition to their inevitable spiritual enlightenment, men over 50 will decide that they need to embrace new cultures to become more at one with the world. They’ll book themselves on a journey to Nepal or Kyoto, a city overflowing with spiritual sites, according to The Telegraph.
Punctuality
Once a man hits 50, they will ditch their youthful casualness when it comes to time management, ensuring they always turn up to places at least 15 minutes early. They’ll also be deeply offended if you dare turn up a minute later than planned.
Overhauling the Wardrobe
The second a man hits the age of 50, he will realize that his days of being a progressive fashionista are behind him. He’ll purchase three pairs of the same trainers, a pair of cargo shorts, and a multipack of identical T-shirts so as not to give him too much to think about in the mornings.
Becoming More Spiritual
As the years drift on, middle-aged men will start to think that The Beatles were on to something when they visited the Maharishi in India circa 1968 for some transcendental meditation practice. They’ll get closer to their spiritual side, practicing meditation on the sly when the house is empty.
Panicking About Bank Accounts
As they gear up for retirement, preparing to tighten their financial belt, the man over 50 will start to worry about his future. He will religiously study interest rates, moving money from account to account to the point where the national treasury will become suspicious.
Developing a Health Obsession
The health obsessions of 50 year old men aren’t limited to ordering a side salad instead of fries, but also involve constant trips to the local doctor, frequent exercise, and going to bed at eight o’clock to ensure they get adequate sleep.
Daydreaming About Boats
As reported by Forbes, 50-year-old men are slap bang in the center of the peak mid-life crisis years, where they will start fantasizing about buying a shiny new sports car or a boat that they don’t have the skillset to sail.
Environmentalism
Upon learning of their impending grandchild, some 50-year-old men will take it upon themselves to ensure that the world is in decent shape for the next generation. They’ll start combing the beach for plastic bottles, recycling as though their life depends on it, and reciting Greta Thunberg lines to their friends at the pub.
Organizing Cupboards
Whereas they would never previously have cared, men seem to develop an eagle-eyed approach to cupboard organization once they hit 50 years of age. The herbs and spices will be put into alphabetical order, the cleaning products will be arranged in order of height, and the fridge will be completely compartmentalized.
Assessing the Washing Up
Washed dishes will have to be in pristine condition to pass the military-style quality control of the 50-year-old man. Any hint of a water mark on the drinking glasses, or a speck of dirt on a plate will have you instantly ostracized from the family.
Committing to Learning
Despite flunking out of school before exam season even started, some 50-year-old men will suddenly get the urge to enlighten their minds to new information. They’ll tune in gleefully to the History Channel every evening while ensuring that they keep their streak on Duolingo, even if it means they have to read out various Spanish phrases in public.
Volunteering/Charity Work
Once their 50th birthday rolls around, men will realize that it’s finally time they made a philanthropic name for themselves in their local community, leaving a legacy worthy of a statue in the town center. They’ll begin volunteering, showing their face at charity events, and trying to get on the mayor’s good side.
Buying Copious Amounts of Tech
The days of falling behind with technology are over when a man hits 50 years of age. Immediately, they will start investing in up-to-date tech, such as the latest phone, a new laptop, and a prototype of a military-grade jet pack.
Exercising More
After hitting the big 5 0, most men will start browsing the internet for tips on how to prevent their inevitable physical decline. Some reports, such as the National Library of Medicine, detail the importance of exercise for older men’s mental and physical well-being.